Trauma Release Centre

Understanding My Nervous System

Your body has been protecting you all along. This tool helps you understand how.

Your nervous system is not broken. It is doing exactly what it learned to do.

Polyvagal Theory, developed by neuroscientist Dr Stephen Porges, explains why our bodies respond the way they do to stress, danger, and connection. The nervous system has three main states, each designed to help you survive. You move between them automatically, often without realising it.

Understanding these states does not make the difficult ones go away. But it changes the relationship you have with them. Instead of "What is wrong with me?" it becomes "My body is responding to something. Let me see what it needs."

Based on Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 1994, 2011). Supported by research in trauma treatment, including its integration with somatic and IFS approaches (Dana, 2018; van der Kolk, 2014).

Grounding pause — begin here

Before you read on, take a moment to arrive.

1Feel both feet on the floor. Press them down gently and notice the support beneath you. You are grounded.

2Take a slow breath in. Let the breath out slowly, longer than the in-breath. This activates your parasympathetic nervous system — the calm-down system.

3Look around and notice three things you can see. Let your gaze be soft and unhurried. Your nervous system is checking: am I safe right now?

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Safe & Connected

Ventral Vagal State

You might notice

Calm, present, able to think clearly
Open to connection with others
Flexible — can handle the unexpected
Steady breathing, relaxed jaw and shoulders
Curious, playful, able to laugh

What your body is saying

"I am safe. I can rest and relate."

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On Alert

Sympathetic State (Fight or Flight)

You might notice

Anxious, irritable, restless, wound-up
Heart beating faster, shallow breathing
Hard to sit still or concentrate
Scanning for what might go wrong
Easily triggered, reactive

What your body is saying

"I sense danger. I need to act."

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Shut Down

Dorsal Vagal State (Freeze)

You might notice

Numb, flat, disconnected, foggy
Like you have gone offline or disappeared
Heavy, collapsed posture
Hard to feel or want anything
Withdrawing from people and life

What your body is saying

"The threat is too much. I am going offline."

The Autonomic Ladder

You move up and down this ladder automatically, depending on what your nervous system perceives.

Safe & Connected (Ventral Vagal)

This is where you feel most like yourself. You can connect, reflect, learn, and heal. Relationships feel possible here. This state is not about being happy, just about feeling safe enough to be present.

"I can handle this. I am okay right now."

On Alert (Sympathetic)

Your body detected something it read as a threat, even if nothing is visibly wrong. This is not a character flaw. The nervous system is pattern-matching against old experiences, especially if you have been through trauma.

"Something feels wrong. I need to fight, run, or fix this."

Shut Down (Dorsal Vagal)

This is the oldest survival response in the nervous system. When the threat feels too big to fight or flee from, the system goes quiet to protect you. It can look like depression, dissociation, or not caring. It is none of those things. It is survival.

"I cannot cope with this. I am going away."

Use this to gently check in with yourself — at any time of day, before or after a difficult moment, or just to get curious about what is happening inside you right now.

Grounding pause

Take a breath before you check in.

1Notice where you are right now. Name three things in your surroundings.

2One slow breath in. A longer breath out. Feel your chest settle.

3Ask yourself with genuine kindness: "How am I actually doing right now?"

Which state feels closest to where you are right now?

What are you noticing in your body right now? Tightness, heaviness, butterflies, numbness, warmth — anything physical counts. What might have brought this state on? You don't have to know for certain. Even a guess is useful. How intense does this feel? (0 = manageable · 10 = overwhelming)

Grounding pause

Use this anytime you need to come back to yourself.

15-4-3-2-1 Orienting. Name 5 things you can see, 4 you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste. This brings you back into the present moment.

2Extended exhale breathing. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 1, breathe out for 6 counts. The longer exhale activates the vagus nerve and slows the heart rate.

3Bilateral tapping. Gently tap alternate knees or shoulders in a slow, rhythmic pattern. Bilateral stimulation helps discharge sympathetic activation.

4Safe place. Close your eyes and picture somewhere that feels calm or safe. It can be real or imagined. Notice what you see, hear, and feel there. Stay for at least 30 seconds.

What your nervous system needs in each state

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Safe & Connected: nourish and deepen

You are in your window of tolerance. This is the best time for therapy work, reflection, and connection. Spend time with people who feel safe. Engage in creative or meaningful activity. Let yourself receive care. This state is not a destination — it is a practice. The more time you spend here, the wider your window grows.

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On Alert: move and discharge

Your body has mobilised energy that needs somewhere to go. Movement helps: walking, shaking your hands, stretching, dancing. Extended exhale breathing is effective quickly. Cold water on the face activates the dive reflex and slows the heart. Try not to make major decisions in this state — your system is in survival mode, not reflection mode.

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Shut Down: gentle warmth and small steps

This state needs gentleness, not pushing. Warmth is regulating — a warm drink, a blanket, sunlight. Gentle movement like rocking, slow walking, or even humming can help. Reach out to one safe person, even with just a text. Do not demand yourself to feel better quickly. Your nervous system went offline to protect you. It needs to be welcomed back, not forced.